Equigam

[bothme]

Gamzee was asleep. He knew he was asleep because the whispers were louder and the voodoos were far away. Also, because he was pretty fucking sure last he checked, he hadn't been on the meteor for a while, and the corridors on it were not usually so linear and infinitely long. Shit, this even looked like one specific hallway. One he didn't go in after he'd come to collect some bodies he'd left there.

He looked up at the opening of a vent, and then at himself. He wasn't even sure he'd fit in there anymore. It had been about a year, and he'd been growing. But that didn't matter in a dream, did it? Shit, he wasn't even sure of that, himself. And the answer to it didn't much matter, either way, because he'd decided, for once, that since he was in a dream, nobody would be about to jump down his throat for having a little stroll by himself.

He wandered down the hallway, fascinated by how it went on and on, like one of those fucked up game maps that just looped around on itself. He was almost convinced it was one, until he saw a figure up ahead. He kept walking towards it, his shoes making the only sound in the hall.

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[voidarcher]

Suddenly, the corridor was a lot shorter, opening up to a wide, dark room bathed in shadow and smelling of blood. In the middle of it the figure sat with its legs crossed, back turned to the highblood that was the only source of sound in the place. The other body might as well have been a statue for how still it sat. Around it there were smudges of blood both vibrant blue and olive green, a broken bow at its side.

One ear twitched when the steps came to a halt and Equius sat up a little straighter in his meditative posture, his hands on his knees. When he stood, he did so slowly, turning in place to finally face the intruder upon his bubble, his hands at his sides. His eyes were milky white and the ligature marks were still there around his throat, bright as ever, as was the splash of blood from the wound, now unfelt, through his left leg. He said nothing as he moved forward and suddenly, there was no doorway behind Gamzee for him to retreat through as one hand immediately snapped out and closed on the highblood's head, obscuring the top half of his face.

[bothme]

Gamzee had barely had time to react to the fact that it was Equius, muchless a very pissed off, dead Equius, before the blueblood's hand was up over his eyes and wrapped around his head. He let out a startled honk and attempted to scrabble away, only to be held fast. He scratched against Equius' arm, blindly fighting against the sheer strength of the other troll's grip, his voice its usual quaver. The Voodoos had little control over him in his sleep, and as such, he wasn't about to pull some heinous shit like that which Equius remembered. "Let offa me, Motherfucker! What the fuck you all be plannin' to go on and do?"

[voidarcher]

Equius said nothing as he held Gamzee against the wall by his head, his upper lip curled back from his teeth, which were no longer broken in his dream incarnation, though his horn still was. He squeezed his fingers down into Gamzee's skull until he fancied he could feel the bones starting to creak, then leaned his weight on the heel of his hand and looked under his arm at the highblood's face, or at least what he could see of it. He wasn't fighting back. Not like the subbjuglator persona would.

"What are you doing here?" Equius hissed, easing his grip only enough that he wasn't about to crush Gamzee's skull. Of all the people to appear in his bubble after this long, why did it have to be Gamzee?

[bothme]

With a grimace at the pain, Gamzee dropped his hands down to his side, putting his hands on the wall behind him. Served him fucking right. "I been just motherfuckin' walkin' around all dreamin', don't mean no dead motherfuckers no disrespect by comin' up on you or nothin'," he explained as rationally as he possibly could. "Didn't know I went and wandered myself into your bubble, else I woulda motherfuckin' about-faced and got the fuck gone." He was attempting, for the moment, to keep his cool. He could feel that churning, twisting Rage build in his gut, and shoved it down. It would do him no good to fly off the fucking handle at this point. His breath was sharp as he tried his damnedest to ignore the sharp pain in his temples.

[voidarcher]

"I could very easily send you on your way," Equius growled, leaning his weight down more heavily for a moment before standing back upright, still keeping his hold on Gamzee's head but now simply holding him in place rather than aiming to crush his skull. He stood up straight, rubbing his chin in thought with his free hand. "In fact, I see no reason that I shouldn't." He wasn't sure where this slightly sadistic streak had come from, but it had apparently taken the place of the immediate subservience.

[bothme]

"Then do it, motherfucker, go on right the fuck ahead. Kill me. You know I motherfuckin' got it comin' to me." He tipped his head back to bring his chin up. "Get yourself all high on those motherfuckin' dark desires you don't let nobody all on into? Go ahead. Fuckin' kill me. Do me like you wanted to have done to you." He wasn't compulsively wishing to destroy the blueblood, but Gamzee wasn't the happy little clown he had been. The sopor slime was all gone, and he knew what he'd done. If ever his true colors had shown, it would be right this moment.

"You go on ahead, Equibro, you always fuckin' hated my dumb clown ass. Always motherfuckin' talkin' shit. Never cared too much one way or another. Fuckin' humored the hell outta you, gave you what you all up and wanted. So here I fuckin' am." His grin spread under Equius' grip on him. "Motherfuckin' do it," he nearly whispered.

[voidarcher]

Equius' expression drew in then tightened as he bared his teeth once more, his hand tightening on Gamzee's head.

"No, highblood...if I ever kill you, it won't be because you allowed me to do so." As it was, he rounded away from the wall and tossed Gamzee to the floor to bounce and roll away. He followed after the progress of the lanky body slowly with his hands at his sides once more. "But you have one thing correct: I despise you. Everything you are and everything you stand for. It is a platonic hate that you never understood and now you will not be allowed to warp it into anything else." He aimed a sharp kick at Gamzee's torso, aiming to shatter his ribs. If this didn't wake him up and send him away, he would have to find other ways.

[bothme]

As Gamzee got to his knees, the breath knocked out of his lungs from the impact, he laughed at what Equius said, and before the blueblood could kick him, he swung himself up onto his feet and jumped away, looking above to grab a coil of hanging wire from the ceiling, and climbed up into the shadows of the room, looking down on a perch from a collection of pipes. "You keep on goin' and tellin' yourself that it wasn't concupiscent, brother," he said down to Equius, "that hatred you all motherfuckin' had for me was far from platonic. Got you all sweaty, seein' me over you. You was fuckin' smilin'." He licked his lower lip as he stood and acted as if the pipes were tightropes, keeping an eye on the blueblood below him.

"As for all that shit you just been sayin' about me all not allowin' you? That is the only time you'll up and get to killin' me, bro. That is, if I can motherfuckin' die."

[voidarcher]

Equius forced himself not to recoil at the observation, his hackles starting to rise in response. "My reaction was automatic and naive and I assure you, it will not happen again." He drew his hands back as the air shivered between them, a bow materializing between them; it bent dramatically, but it did not break, allowing him to train the arrow on Gamzee as he moved overhead. "I had not seen what you were truly capable of. You could have simply killed me and gone on with your life, but no. You left me on the brink of death and killed Nepeta. You are worse than the lowest of lowbloods." With that, he loosed the arrow, aimed for Gamzee's leg to take it out from under him and send him to the floor.

[bothme]

The arrow hit its intended mark and Gamzee was too in shock that Equius managed to motherfucking not break the bow. Then he realized that, oh yeah. Dream bubble. The fall to the ground knocked the wind out of him again, while the arrow crunched under his leg, and he stared blankly up into the darkness.

"You gonna all up and torture me then? That it, bro? 'Cause I ain't leavin' till you let me leave." His voice was strained as he continued, "You kickin the shit outta me ain't gonna be doin' much."

[voidarcher]

"No," Equius murmured, once more taking a seat on the ground with the bow across his lap. "What I wanted was to immobilize you. I want you to be put in the same position that you've forced me into. You will sit and you will consider exactly what it is you've done. To all of us. To Nepeta. To yourself, and to Vantas." If he wanted, he could do so much worse. But for now, he was content simply to let Gamzee lie there in his pain.

[bothme]

With the pain of the fall and the agony of the arrow in his leg, Gamzee still refused to lay there. He slowly sat up, spitting a small amount of blood from having bit his lip on impact, and yanked the shattered arrow out of his leg, glaring at Equius. "You don't motherfuckin' dare speak the name of my Karbro in that tone again," he hissed, feeling that dreadful uncoiling of Rage overwhelm him. "You don't fuckin' dare speak of the only one of you motherfuckers who ever treated me decent. He's alive. He's gonna stay motherfuckin' alive." He slid to the wall and started pushing himself up on his good leg. "What I did to my own motherfuckin' self ain't none of your fuckin' concern, you sweaty-ass motherFUCK." As he spoke, he managed to bring into his hands his clubs, as he did so often in his dreams. "You know the fuckin' punchline to this fuckin' long-ass joke, my noble fuckin' brother? Is that I coulda seen you real good as a friend. But you - ALL of you - treated me all motherfuckin' unpleasant. Like I was nothin' more than your motherfuckin' jester. A little. Fuckin'. Toy."

[voidarcher]

"You are delusional, highblood. Vantas never treated you like a friend until it benefited him to do so. Just like nobody treated me like a fucking person. I am the punchline, don't you see that?" Equius muttered, looking down at the ground between them, turning blue around the ears when he heard himself. On reflex he grabbed for a towel that was suddenly there around his shoulders, wiping it across his brow. "And then you killed the only one that ever spoke to me like I was worth anything more than an idiot joke in a very bad story. So you will excuse me if I don't exactly sympathize with your plight."

[bothme]

"Nah man," Gamzee said with a shake of his head, chancing to take a step before stumbling and going back to his knees, catching himself by the ends of his clubs and then standing back up on his good leg. "He was good to me. Motherfuckin' good to you, too." He shuffled against the wall to get closer to Equius, keeping his eyes straight on the other troll as he continued. "You never motherfuckin' let nobody treat you different. Always motherfuckin' demandin' shit from me. Tellin' me what to say. How to motherfuckin' act. And don't think I ain't surprised that you just fuckin' cussed. You gettin' on my bulge about that shit, too. And I fuckin' resent that shit. It be my fuckin' religion, brother. You don't got no motherfuckin' right to be tellin' me how I'm supposed to be up and actin', how I'm all about supposin' to be. And now when I finally gone and got my shit together, you're gonna be all motherfuckin' judgmental of that shit, too. Real motherfuckin' pleasant of you, brother."

[voidarcher]

"I never set out to be pleasant," Equius pointed out, once more grimacing at Gamzee's comments. "As I said before, the way I conducted myself was naive and I have grown since then. You, on the other hand, have somehow fallen further from your rightful status and all of it by your own hand. You are a disgrace to your bloodline. But that does not mean that what you did was what you should have done in the circumstances. We are so few now," he said quietly, his hands coming together in front of him and pressing against his lips. "It is the fault of your loss of what little coherence you had and the uncouth actions of the seadweller that have doomed us."

[bothme]

"What all you be sayin' about my motherfuckin' bloodline ain't nothin' more than a whole BUNCH of bullshit, my back-asswards motherfucker," Gamzee pointed out as he dropped down beside Equius. "But I got more motherfuckin' important shit to do than sit and worry about our doomed motherfuckin' species. There's shit happenin' all in the world of the livin' you ain't privy to, and you got a motherfuckin' chance at seein' it all first motherfuckin' hand. I got me a real good plan to spring your fuckin' soul up and out of this purgatorial motherfuckin' dreamstate. I can give you all what you want. A chance to be seein' her again. A motherfuckin' second life you ain't even knowin' you had. I'm motherfuckin' hackin' this bullshit way deeper than solbro ever could." He spun around in his seat against the wall in front of Equius and smiled dully.

"I got a great deal of motherfuckin' work to do. And it ain't gonna be too pleasant. But it's all been foreseen. Every motherfuckin' action I did part of to this point has been livin' the letter of my rightful fuckin' place, at the foot of the Lord of Destruction."

[voidarcher]

Equius' brow furrowed as he listened, his hands curling into tight fists. "Foreseen? Foreseen by whom? You've been making up these so-called prophecies yourself," he growled, standing and walking away from Gamzee before he finally decided to strangle the damned clown. "I know more than you give me credit for, Makara. And I wouldn't be trapped here in this purgatory if it weren't for your actions so you can just...just stick it in your ear and leave me be. I did not ask for this."

[bothme]

"Where the fuck do you think all them thoughts be out and comin' from? I ain't got the fuckin' imagination to be all thinkin' shit up like that. I fuckin' ate myself stupid, you ignorant motherfuck." He sprawled his legs out when Equius walked away. "And I don't hear you sayin' no to gettin' outta here. All I hear is you motherfuckin' bitchin' all about shit I know I motherfuckin' did, and don't really fuckin' have the desire to be all up and sorry about. Maybe if you ever did somethin' other than look down your motherfuckin' nose at anybody, maybe I mighta done and felt bad about my killin' your ass, but you ain't givin' me no cause to repent for cullin' you. Now, see, I feel real motherfuckin' bad about the little olive kitty bitch, but it ain't on account of somethin' you said. Knowin' how her dancestor is, though." He left that thought as it was and smirked a little to himself.

[voidarcher]

"Don't give me that, you pathetic excuse for a highblood," Equius snapped. "You have always been much more intelligent than you ever let anybody see, and that in itself is disgraceful. You are wasting your potential and doing your caste a grave disservice. But perhaps it is better that you killed me," he continued, "for it has given me the chance to really think about my conduct, as well as yours. And what I know about each of us is that while I may have conducted myself poorly, I never once hurt those that I considered on some level to be comrades. You, on the other hand, took it upon yourself in your pursuit of whatever position could be gained at the demon's side to kill half of what remained of our race. You should be ashamed of what you did, not just to Nepeta, but what you did to all of us. Including your moirail."

[bothme]

"You keep motherfuckin' TALKIN' about my motherfuckin' CASTE like you even fuckin' know what all comes with it!" He stood faster than anybody should be able to, and was suddenly with his chest against Equius' back and his hand around his throat, his eyes going redder by the second. "I really up and motherfuckin' dare you to act like you motherfuckin' know fuckall about Highbloods again, you dead motherfucker. Death ain't but only step one of your motherfuckin' inexistence." He had left his clubs at the side of the room, but his claws were digging at the ligature marks around Equius' throat, his strength not nearly the amount that the blueblood had, but it was enough to dig into the skin, and make a damn good point.

"You uppity motherfucker, I should be all destroyin' you now," Hissed Gamzee through his bared teeth. "You was right. This ain't motherfuckin' caliginous. I been hatin' you all wrong, this whole motherfuckin' time."

[voidarcher]

Equius tensed, closing his eyes as he blocked the instinctual pain at being grabbed; he'd long since learned to manipulate this dream state that was his existence, and as such it offered him a tactical advantage, especially given that Gamzee didn't have control over anything here save for himself and what he came with. Equius reached back and wrapped a hand around one of Gamzee's horns, holding it halfway up and putting pressure on the outward curve of it. "You will release me, highblood, or I will deal you the damage that you did the rest of us." He started to turn his hand, the hard outer structure of Gamzee's horn starting to creak under his grip.

[bothme]

"You'd motherfuckin' like that shit, wouldn't you?" Gamzee hissed into Equius' ear, before groaning at the sound resonating in his skull at the feeling of his horn being splintered. He let go, and put his hands up, muttering, "You been sittin' all alone, seethin' this entire motherfuckin' time? Gettin' your motherfuckin' SADISM on? Huh, Equius? You gonna show this side to your precious little bitch if she ever comes a callin' on you?" He hobbled back towards the wall and leaned against it, willing away the pain of all his current wounds. It was just a motherfucking dream. "But don't let me get myself all motherfuckin' sidetracked on that shit. You got yourself a fundamental motherfuckin' misunderstandin' on, about what a Highblood be about. You motherfuckin' think a wicked clown like me all up and imagined them chucklevoodoos I got screamin' inside of me? You think I fuckin' WANT that shit, brother? Let me kick that shit down for you REAL nice and quick."

He leaned down to grab his pins and spun one idly as he stared at Equius, just waiting for him to come at him. "I been pushin' 'em down for a real long time, blueblooded fool. You ain't NEVER seen the mental fuckin' fortitude that you be peepin' on right here. You think you got yourself a motherfuckin' clue about self control? You ever fuckin' wonder why I went and motherfuckin' KEPT ON EATIN' THAT SHIT? Well I'm up and about to tell you."

He pushed off the wall and started to walk around the room, keeping his distance from Equius as he kept staring at the blueblood. "It ain't ever been so easy, keepin' the whispers out, and the chuckles down. It ain't EVER fuckin' been very EASY keepin' my PAN SCREWED DOWN NEITHER." He grit his teeth, and went back to the cord that hung down within his reach. "You all be underfuckin'estimatin' me, bro. Been KEEPIN' YOURSELF IGNORANT OF WHAT ALL I MAY BE ALL AND UP TO. And maybe you right. Maybe, you motherfuckers shouldn't get your ignorance deluded. It ain't motherfuckin' easy, keepin' all that shit out, once you're all down with it. Once you've bedded it in your motherfuckin' pan, where the holes all once was. I been real good up 'til fuckin' now, with you."

[voidarcher]

"So what you're telling me is that you're too spineless to resist it without chemical assistance. That your ancestry is just as pathetic as you are that none of you know how to conduct yourselves," Equius continued to needle him, riling him up very well as he was released. He turned back to Gamzee with his bow in hand, keeping another arrow trained on the highblood as he moved. "You may not have wanted it, but then you took it and you owned it to the detriment of your body, your mind and your relationships with everybody you cared about. Or fooled yourself into thinking you cared about. What of Nitram?" he asked, his head tilting up to track Gamzee around the room with his sights still trained on him. "He may not have died by your hand, but you desecrated his corpse when you had feelings for him. Your values, such as they were, are all completely defunct now in the face of what you've done to yourself.

You want me to respect you? Now you have to give me a reason to."

He loosed another arrow then easily reloaded, keeping his distance as he knew that Gamzee specialized in close range, blunt force attacks. His fists would do little good if his skull was caved in by juggling clubs. He would recover from it and continue to exist in this silent hell, but at least he'd been able to face Gamzee and confront him over everything that he'd been mulling over for the past sweep.

[bothme]

"NEVER speak his motherfucking name," Gamzee growled in response to Equius bringing up Tavros. His mind and heart still twisted and ached every time he was reminded of his sweet little friend, and then he smirked as he dodged the arrows, moving phenomenally fast, only to run up to Equius and use that speed and his own fair amount of strength to push Equius against the wall, yanking the blueblood's sunglasses off his face as he looked straight into his eyes with a terrible grin.

"Provokin' me all to be goin' and doin' somethin', Equibro? NOT real smart! Respect ain't somethin' I EVER asked out of you 'cause motherfuckin' frankly, your respect don't even mean shit to me." He hissed, slamming the other's head against the wall as he pulled the other troll's eyes wide and stared deep into them, keeping his head steady. "Now I ain't no good compared to Kurloz, but I can still give you a motherfuckin' taste of this shit," he whispered, his mind opening and his eyes starting to glow. If Equius tried to move his arms, he'd smash the joints before continuing what he needed to do.

"You keep SAYIN' I should be ALL ABOUT NOT GIVING IN?" He didn't care how much Equius knew, nor how much he could provoke him with that knowledge. All Gamzee wanted to do now was to infiltrate the nobleblood's mind - his very spirit - with the sound of the screaming laughter of chucklevoodoos, "Don't see you doin' what you can to resist it, my brother," he quietly hissed, his red eyes glaring straight into those white, dead eyes.

[voidarcher]

Equius' breath hissed through his teeth as he stared straight back into Gamzee's face, eyes wide and blank and glaring straight back at the highblood.

"I am no longer a living being that you can manipulate," he growled, then instead of lifting his arms, Equius brought one foot down on top of Gamzee's and pinned it in place as he lunged forward and smashed his forehead into the highblood's nose. There were chills running down the length of his body from the chucklevoodoos he could still hear in his hindbrain but he tried to block them out as he snatched the clubs out of Gamzee's hands, spinning them deftly in his own, prepared to use them. It would certainly lend some poetic justice to the situation to bludgeon the dream body of the highblood into jam with the same clubs that had killed Nepeta. "Wake up and leave me be, highblood. Play your games with your mirthful messiahs, I will kill you myself eventually."

[bothme]

With his nose broken and his clubs out of his hands, Gamzee didn't leave, even though the force of the headbutt sent him back down to the ground. The pain drove his Rage deeper through him as he started to laugh, the sound of his chuckles echoing through the room, permeating the entire area with the hideous sound. As he laid on the floor below Equius, he continued to cackle. "Yo homie," he said through the laugh, and just as fast as the gigglefit came on, it was done and over with, and he whispered, "Do it. I want you to go to it and motherfuckin' try. HAVEN'T YOU FIGURED IT OUT YET?" He shouted, purple blood spraying from his mouth, "I ain't motherfuckin' weak like you. I'm NEVER gonna motherfuckin' die! So try it. Do it, motherfucker, give it all your motherfuckin' best. Give all that motherfuckin' rage on over to me, you unworthy, useless, dishonorable motherfuckin' pile of ground fuckin' dead ass grubloaf. I ain't goin' nowhere, until I motherfuckin' wake all up on my own. So do it. DO IT MOTHERFUCKER, KILL ME."

[voidarcher]

"Killing you here would be pointless," Equius muttered, but he stepped forward and planted his foot in the middle of Gamzee's chest, holding him down as he held the clubs at his sides. "All it would do is wake you up. While I do want you gone, I'm not going to simply end it quietly. And certainly not because of your badgering." He pressed his foot down harder into Gamzee's sternum, the sole of his boot likely to leave a bruise, had this not been taking place in a dream bubble. "My rage is my own, not something for you to control."

[bothme]

"Wrong again, brother," murmured Gamzee, whose clubs left Equius' hands and reappeared back in his own, just to bring them smashing against both sides of the knee that was keeping him pinned, and with that, he was back up with a jump and bounce of reclaimed energy. "You all gettin' into this, bro? Enjoyin' yourself while you be up and wearin' that cloak of motherfuckin' stoicism over it? Don't lie now, ain't no reason to all up and lie to our motherfuckin' face that you ain't gettin' off on this." He licked the blood off his lower lip, and pushed the end of one of his clubs against Equius' chest. "You want us up and outta your motherfuckin' hair, blueblood, you can be doin' a real motherfuckin' thing and be lettin' us go. Gonna be motherfuckin' takin' our leave of your little tiny prison now. You say you want us gone, then brother, you best be openin' up that fuckin' door that ain't there. You don't wanna kill us, don't wanna let us go. The fuck is you doin' then? Clearly gettin' some pleasure outta it."

[voidarcher]

Equius let out a hoarse cry as his kneecap was shattered between the clubs, supporting himself against the wall until it had knitted and allowed him to support his weight on it again. He looked up toward the wall, how opened back up into the hall, as it had been for several minutes outside of Gamzee's notice. "I take no pleasure in this, highblood. But I do feel fortunate that I am able to level this warning in person..." He lashed out, grabbing Gamzee's wrist then his head once more, lifting him and swinging him in a wide, fast arc then releasing him to ragdoll away once more. "If I am ever restored to life and I know where you are I will not hesitate to tear you into so many pieces that nobody will be able to identify the indigo smears on the landscape!"

[bothme]

With his limbs aching and blood pouring from his nose and mouth, Gamzee stood shakily, and turned to look over his shoulder at Equius. His tone was quiet as he spoke, but it resonated to reach Equius. "First thing I'm up and be doin' when I wake up is turnin' your motherfuckin' skull into my own personal pail. See all how you like that shit." It was an empty threat, since it was likely that he wouldn't remember any of this. He smirked as he stumbled through the corridor, back to his own bubble. "Been real good peepin' on your face, homie." And with that, he turned a corner that appeared, and he was out of sight.