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It had been about a sweep since Gamzee had hidden himself fully away from the view of the others. He'd only pestered Terezi on occasion, when he was feeling particularly caliginous, but that wasn't any substitute for good old-fashioned contact.
Things had gotten weird, even by highblood clown standards. Gamzee had stayed off to one side of the meteor, while most of the rest of the group stayed together on the other side. Only on rare occasion did he bother to sneak back to get something to eat. And that's what he was doing just then. He knew their schedules well enough that he knew to stay away from certain parts of the meteor at certain times, and knew that after everybody retired for bed, it wasn't so hard to sneak in and alchemize himself some shit to bring back with him.
He dropped silently into the main room from the vents, squinting down the long hall before sneaking over to the alchemeter. He was certain that the rest of the survivors weren't going to bother him. He'd have enough food to last him a long while in just a few minutes, and then he'd not have to worry about being bothered by anybody.
Or to bother anybody. That was the real problem. He didn't want anyone to look at him like they looked when they spoke about him. Disappointed. Hatred. Disgust. He didn't want to destroy anybody.
Things had gotten weird, even by highblood clown standards. Gamzee had stayed off to one side of the meteor, while most of the rest of the group stayed together on the other side. Only on rare occasion did he bother to sneak back to get something to eat. And that's what he was doing just then. He knew their schedules well enough that he knew to stay away from certain parts of the meteor at certain times, and knew that after everybody retired for bed, it wasn't so hard to sneak in and alchemize himself some shit to bring back with him.
He dropped silently into the main room from the vents, squinting down the long hall before sneaking over to the alchemeter. He was certain that the rest of the survivors weren't going to bother him. He'd have enough food to last him a long while in just a few minutes, and then he'd not have to worry about being bothered by anybody.
Or to bother anybody. That was the real problem. He didn't want anyone to look at him like they looked when they spoke about him. Disappointed. Hatred. Disgust. He didn't want to destroy anybody.
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"Ain't got nothin' 'gainst you, brother. Just don't wanna do you any harm. Just wanna get back to what all I been up to doin' this whole motherfuckin' time. Doin' me the way I need to do. Ain't got too long to wait left. Just shoulda let me be."
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He fell silent after that. That was probably the most he'd ever said to anyone that wasn't Terezi, Karkat or one of the human kids. And what was more, it was sincere.
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"Shit, man, it wasn't just you all settin' me off. Coulda been just about motherfuckin' anything 'round then. Wasn't you who killed 'em, wasn't you who fucked up everybody, playin' headgames with blind sister. Shit shook me, yeah, but I'm beginnin' to think, I mighta been played. Not by you. By Him. Been sittin' on this motherfucker a real long time, ain't seen shit I been up and promised. He keeps sayin' it'll be soon, soon I'll be playin' a part I be up to be playin', fulfillin' my motherfuckin' duty as prophets and doin' the raisin' of Him. But he been up to sayin' all sorts of bullshit I don't really motherfuckin' believe. Him and that white text motherfuck. Both becomin' lost motherfuckin' causes."
He looked back over at Dave.
"Motherfucker, lookit me. Ain't on account of you I done what I done. If it wasn't you doin' shit, it woulda been somethin' else. I was sober before you'n me got that chat on. Woulda taken one motherfuckin' stiff breeze to set my shit off. Now all I want is to be left the fuck alone about it. Shit, brother. You probably didn't even motherfuckin' mean no harm or nothin' by it. Thought I'd probably up and get me a laugh from those heretical motherfucks." He scooted away from the wall to approach Dave. He was aware of the other's sword, but didn't give one shit. He knew he couldn't die by it.
"Ain't gonna do no good to apologize."
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He decided on a different train of thought then. Standing up, he climbed the arm of the machine to put the little device he'd removed back into place, then sat there perched on it as he watched the troll. "Tell you what. You don't want apologies, then maybe just some fuckin' chat between a couple of chill-ass dudes to pass the time until you go hide some more and I have to go make sure Karkat hasn't brained himself on a wall after dealing with every other goddamn thing."
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"And you got your motherfuckin' self and Rose to be keepin' an eye on. Kansis ain't gonna be able to keep a level head 'round her. Sis has had it bad for her since before we all was knowin' that you wasn't trolls. Shit, homegirl wanted that fineness since before we was even done bein' up in our worlds. Shoulda seen her, bro. Head over motherfuckin' stems for this girl that wrote this motherfuckin' FAQ." He chuckled a little at that, dry and lifeless.
"So Seein' 'em kickin' it together's a real motherfuckin' grace. Glad at least one of us be gettin' our happy endin'. Ain't nobody else seemin' to. So what the fuck is your happy endin', brother? Since there ain't no way we gonna any of us get outta this shit alive."
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He turned it over in his head when Gamzee asked what he wanted out of this. His frown only grew, and he tried to hide it behind a sneer and his arms crossed again. "A swank fuckin' apartment and a fuckin' metric tonnage of soda that wasn't fuckin' alchemized. Maybe some fly babe that doesn't mind a dude that can't really do sunlight without gettin' a headache. Shit man, you really wanna get exorbitant with it, get me a fuckin' endorsement deal, get my music shit rolling for whoever will listen to it. That's what I want."
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"So I just want a motherfuckin' point. S'all. Ain't got no big wants like a place to up and be, or a recordin' deal or none of that."
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He wished he could say the same thing for himself.
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"So if the whispers is tellin' the truth, then I might get my chance. Sucks you ain't gonna get what you be wantin', though. Seem like an all right enough motherfucker, seems a shame you get the short end of shit."
His brow furrowed then, and he looked back down at his hands.
"Yo, look, thanks for gettin' up the globes to say you's sorry. Sorry I did up a retaliation for it. You got your shit on straight, though. Didn't do the damage I'd been hopin' when I did it up, so. Sorry."
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"Bet you haven't ever had a can'a Pringles before. Bon apetite, clown."
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"Wanna share?"
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"Whoa fuck, motherfucker! Shit's salty as fuck!" He exclaimed, then took another bite, beaming at it. It was leaps and bounds better than anything he'd been alchemizing over the past sweep or so, and better still than the replicated snacks he'd been getting for himself. There was only so much special stardust one motherfucker could subsist on without going batshit guano and sick of the taste.
He grinned once he finished the ones he'd been given, and got another few. "Hang on, man, just a motherfuckin' second." He said, grabbing up a single chip before pulling something out of his sylladex. It was a handheld device he'd snagged that would show the captcha code for whatever any tangible thing was, and the grist that it would cost to make it. He then punched a few buttons and smiled, nudging Dave off to get off the alchemeter, and trundled over to the input box.
Soon, he had five hundred pringles in a pile.
"There you be. Dunno why nobody thought to be all lookin' up codes for food or nothin' when they coulda. Ain't so motherfuckin' hard. Shit, got me codes for every motherfuckin' food I had up in my hive."
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"Always ate sugary shit, never had a motherfuckin' problem. Then again, I don't know what all your body might be in difference to me. Motherfuckin' humans is weird as shit. Real motherfuckin' fragile. None of you woulda lasted on Alternia, s'for motherfuckin' sure." He finished up putting the pringles in the cans, and set a few aside for Dave, simply because the guy had offered them up to him in the first place.
"Why you down with gettin' your jaw on with me, anyway? I thought you was tryin' to keep to yourself."
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"You ain't even a part of this timeline, is you. Just dropped yourself here 'cause you ain't motherfuckin' ready to die. S'why you's in here, 'stead of in your room where you always is at this hour. 'Cause you came here to get away from a problem." He thought something was off.
"Look, bro, ain't gonna blame you for up and steppin' off. Droppin' yourself down somewhere you gonna get swallowed up. Would do that for myself, if I had the motherfuckin' means. But you don't deserve this bullshit. Not from anybody. Not from yourself, neither."
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He turned to face Dave, giving the other his full attention. "Still got some time to be doin' shit up right. Don't gotta be gloomy about it. Should be glad we got a definitive end to this bullshit. You ain't chicken for not wantin' to be facin' death. Ain't nobody wants that. You just got the globes to admit the shit ain't nobody else does."
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